dear mushroomhead

Dear Mushroomhead,

So much for my punctual letter-writing. Hey, at least I saved you a few leaves from last week! They are crisping up nicely.

This weekend saw me breaking up with my not-boyfriend. He mentioned that we had been seeing each other for three months and began asking about a more formal / proper / sex-inducing relationship. I thought of how excited I felt when I realized your porcupine friend I were back on track, and I wondered where not-boyfriend had gotten the notion we were dating. Didn't I refer to porcupine in every other sentence about my other friends?

It's eleven o'clock. Do you know where your porcupine is sleeping?

Your spineless friend,

Qwerty T.

Dear Mushroomhead,

My roommate and I leave the back door ajar to let the cats roam the garden, and we keep our recycling in small bins by that door. Glass, compost, and paper/plastic. Sometimes we leave the dishwasher hanging open. This weekend my roommate warned me she had seen a rodent in our compost bucket, so we added a lid to the container. I brushed off the incident.

After breakfast yesterday, she opened the dishwasher and screamed. I ran into the room. A young possum was hiding behind the dishes. We chased it out of the house with the morning paper, but it refused to leave the backyard until we set up a protected trail out and then "watered" around the possum. It quickly scurried out of sight, and to be safe we covered the space under the gate. Again, I thought we were done with the little guy.

Today my roommate got an email from a local humane society representative. Someone had found a baby possum a few blocks down the road from our place and was unable to take it up to the wildlife rehabilitation center, and the representative was hoping my roommate could ferry it on her way to work. She politely declined.

Anyway, I washed some laundry today and made chicken soup. Has your week been as interesting as that?

Your sunburnt friend,

Qwerty T.

Dear Mushroomhead,

You probably want to know why I keep writing to you. I find it easier to write to an audience, and you, being who you are, strike me as the perfect audience. I can say anything to you now, because you will never read it. This is refreshing. I could tell you I only never meant to cut up and eat your brother because I ended up in the emergency room, and you would never know. I look forward to a long correspondence!

I do not look forward to more mushroom ragu. I think it will take me a few weeks to get over my sudden fear of your kind.

Your zany friend,

Qwerty T.

Dear Mushroomhead,

This is a test entry, so don't pay much attention to it! I want to see how Zesty White looks in comparison to Transmogrified Basic. I know what you're thinking -- as usual, I'm being too wordy. You don't care much about themes.

I hope you're doing well and haven't contracted that nasty food poisoning sickness again.

Are you free next week?

Your distant friend,

Qwerty T.