you, covered in white sauce on a bed of spaghetti

[dearmushroomhead]

Dear Mushroomhead,

You probably want to know why I keep writing to you. I find it easier to write to an audience, and you, being who you are, strike me as the perfect audience. I can say anything to you now, because you will never read it. This is refreshing. I could tell you I only never meant to cut up and eat your brother because I ended up in the emergency room, and you would never know. I look forward to a long correspondence!

I do not look forward to more mushroom ragu. I think it will take me a few weeks to get over my sudden fear of your kind.

Your zany friend,

Qwerty T.